I downloaded TikTok for the first time today to see what all the hype is about. I know I'm about 2 years late to the game on this one and oh boy did it not disappoint. I had no idea just how unintentionally hilarious this platform is. I've never seen more full-blown adults act like 10 year old girls in my entire life. There are so many ridiculous rabbitholes to jump down that I think the TikTok chronicles may just become a monthly series. We'll start with the trend that first caught my eye: TikTok millionaires.
For those of you who don't know, there seems to be a trend on TikTok where (seemingly) successful business people try to educate our fragile youth on the secrets to financial success. Let's take a look at the first video I came across from a young lady offering revolutionary advice for aspiring entrepreneurs.
Alright we're off to a great start. Just 2 steps to becoming a successful entrepreneur? Sign me up. This is gonna be good,
Okay...not exactly the earth shattering advice I was expecting for step one but we can work with this. To start a business you do in fact have to pick one, so maybe she's onto something. I'm sure step 2 will be the big finish we're all expecting.
Pick a business and then start one? Goddamn why didn't I think of that before? All this time I thought becoming a millionaire was complicated but it turns out Ashley here has cracked the code. Gary Vaynerchuk would be proud. But if somehow that wasn't inspiration enough let's move on to our next millionaire TikToker.
A millionaire by 18? Well looks like it's too late for me to make this one happen. But let's not let that discourage us. What does he have in store?
Turns out he has a literal store in store. Ignore the 95% failure rate of dropshipping stores. When your in high school, just invest all of your hard earned money from working the counter at your local ice cream shop into a Shopify store. Nothing can go wrong.
Shopify and Forex trading? Might as well just sell drugs instead...it's a safer income source. Okay who's next?
He'll show you how to get rich...but you must be 18. Absolutely imperative that you are 18 years old. Nothing creepy at all if you ask me. Just good old fashioned capitalism. Which leads us to this guy:
Alright, that's enough TikTok for today.